dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize