and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
