Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Randomize
