So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Damn victory sex feels great
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