We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize