People in love make me want to vomit
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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