his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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