if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
