So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
i out mim tonsoeep
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