the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
