I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
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