In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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