she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
