If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
The air taste purple.
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