My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
