But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
We had to coat check the pizza.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Randomize
