I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize