its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
