You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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