so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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