i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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