it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
sex in a hospital.. check
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
