if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
