i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
