I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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