What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
