nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
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