if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
