Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
