I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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