shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize