Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
