I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
It's Friday. Sex?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
