it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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