AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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