she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
