Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
only you would photoshop your dick
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
