You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
