Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
