come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
