What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize