used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
