went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
