Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
