It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize