wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
