TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
