Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
