He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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