Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
