Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
