anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I want her autograph on my taint
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
You have to summon your inner elephant
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
