The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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