My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
