Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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