I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
