if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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