Just mADE A PArabola og urine
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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