DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
