Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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