My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
