First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
