i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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