He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
