Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
