the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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