I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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