Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
