Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
