atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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