just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
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